


At a Loss for Words

by RileySmoch



Category: Free!
Genre: Bookstore AU, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, quotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileySmoch/pseuds/RileySmoch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And though neither would admit it, they looked forward to seeing each other much more than friends should. But both were convinced that they were, "…deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. Thwonk, by Joan Bauer". So it rose inside them, like water from a faucet freely gushing into a balloon, stretching and thinning the boundaries but never breaking skin.</p><p>Until it burst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At a Loss for Words

"Can I return this book? I have the receipt right here."

Nitori glanced at the customer, red hair, red eyes, before scanning the book on the counter. It was still covered in plastic, price sticker new and neat, in perfect mint condition. The receipt on top of it stated that it was just bought the week before.

"Why?"

The man scowled at him questioningly, tilting his head away, and Nitori realized the man wasn't scowling. That was just how his face normally looked like. "Well," he began uncomfortably, probably realizing this was going to be harder than he had initially thought. "That's really none of your business, is it?"

"The choices we make can have lasting consequences." A pause. "Thwonk, by Joan Bauer."

"What?"

Nitori tapped on a sign taped just in front of the register. "Sorry sir," he said, not really sorry because how many times has he said this? Really, can't people read? "We don't do returns. Just exchanges."

The man's face darkened as he stared at the book, and for a moment Nitori was almost afraid for the inanimate object. He swore he heard the man growl as he picked it up, like it had done him a great disservice, and tucked tightly it under his hand.

There was something about him Nitori couldn't quite place. Behind the angry face, a stiffness rested on his shoulders showing he was more worried about this than he let on, a certain slow, reluctant slump in his step. Nitori sighed. He really was a big softie for mysterious types, wasn't he?

_"Wait."_

The man stopped and turned, trying and failing to hide the irritation in his eyes. Nitori beckoned him back and plucked the book from his hands. He looked at the cover. "The Great Gatsby, huh…"

"Tell you what, how about a little equivalent exchange?" He put the book back on the counter. "You tell me why you want to return this, and I'll consider allowing it. Deal?"

"Tch. Won't you get in trouble?"

"Then…let's think of it as, you never even made the purchase." He glanced at the receipt in the man's hand, and the man sheepishly crumpled it into his pocket.

"Right. So, reason?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, seemingly having second thoughts, and Nitori thought, 'Oh well there goes my good deed of the day. I try to do something nice, it happens to be a little illegal, and the mysterious man turns out to be some sort of a bookstore clerk police or something.'

"…I bought the book on a whim. Thought to myself, "why not reward myself with a new book? I still have enough money to last me for the next few weeks, it's been a while since I last indulged." He shook his head with a trace of a smile. "An idiot friend of mine needed to borrow some cash and," the man shrugged. "I couldn't refuse." His tone turned light, almost joking. "Unfortunately, good people still need to eat."

Nitori nodded, satisfied. "Do not just seek happiness for yourself. Seek happiness for all. Through kindness. Through mercy." Stop. "Wide Awake, by David Levithan." A good deed for a good deed. Not another word was exchanged as Nitori punched numbers into the cash register and handed the man his money. The redhead accepted, glance turning warm for a second, before turning and heading out the exit.

"For what it's worth;" Nitori called. The man stopped, inches from the door. "It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over again." He paused. "The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald. You're letting go of a good read, sir. Try the library."

Nitori heard him laugh and suddenly he was hit with a face full of smiles. "Matsuoka Rin doesn't do libraries!" He chuckled without making any noise. "…why are you helping me?" 

Aiichiro leaned on his leg. Why did he help him? He didn't know. "I'm writing a book. I'm stuck on a difficult scene and I need to gather information on mysterious types. Particularly from broody redheads with good taste in books." He put The Great Gatsby below the counter, he'd put it back on the shelf later. "But mostly I like your taste." _False. You barely looked at the receipt, you didn't even know what book he was returning before you offered._

The man, Matsuoka Rin, apparently, only grinned. "You're weird, you know that?" But the smile on his face betrayed that he found this was a good thing. He put his hand on the door knob, twisted it, and Nitori was once again alone with walls.

*****

*****

*****

Nitori really didn't expect to see the man again. I mean, he returned a book for him, what kind of red-string-of-fate meeting was that? But nonetheless there he was, a few days later, watching him arrange books on the shelf next to the counter.

"I'm looking for a book…a gift, for my sister. She's…a girly, romance type. Likes cute stuff." He looked at the silver-haired boy. "Do you have any suggestions?"

If it were any other customer he would've directed them immediately to the Young Adults section, the wall next to their CD rack, and would at least try to give half-hearted assurances that whatever they picked out was fine (cause it was Young Adult, and romance. Not much variety meant small room for error). But this was Rin, and if Nitori gave a bad recommendation he knew he'd come back. So, really, he had no choice (at least that's what he told himself).

"Well, what kind cute things does she like? Any specific preferences?" He asked, quickly moving the books in alphabetical order. The manager told him to put the damaged books at the front, but he always kept them at the back so he could put them on sale at the end of the month for those who couldn't afford the original price. It was second nature, at this point.

"Hmm. I don't know," Rin shuffled his feet, looking at the spines without reading them. "It's her break from school right now. I was hoping to give her something to do." He paused to consider his next words, but still he said them sourly. "She likes romance. Most of her books have muscly heroes…"

Nitori scratched behind his ear and glanced at his work. The books were in perfect order. He looked at Rin in the eye for a moment, before beelining in the opposite direction, heavy footsteps following him as they walked to a darker spot in the store. He leaned flush against dusty shelves and tiptoed.

"Here," he presented the book in his hands. It was clear by the way the plastic clung to it that it had been wedged there for a while. "Amigurumi For Beginners, book two." When Rin arched an eyebrow, Nitori felt the need to explain.

"She's a girly type. Likes cute things. It's her break, you want to give her something to do." The weight was lifted from his hands when Rin took it to check the price. "It's a little more advanced than book one, but it still explains the rudimentary techniques and guidelines while offering much cuter patterns." And it's zero percent muscle, you're welcome.

He lifted his eyes for a split second, smiled at the boy, and dropped them back to the book. "Thank you, Nitori-san."

"Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes." It was a joke on his sister's preference, though Nitori was sure the intention was lost when he said it. "The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan."

"So, do I get a friend-of-an-employee discount?"

"Not a chance."

*****

*****

*****

"Why do you like to read so much?" Rin asked one day. Nitori was dusting the cookbooks next to their storage room, his apron turning grayer with every swipe.

He could've given him a mountain. A series of books, entitled 'Reasons Why I Love to Read', and up to his deathbed it would not be complete. It would take him hours, days, weeks, months, before he could find that one quote to summarize it all. And even then Nitori would feel guilty, because laying all that responsibility on a simple string of words wouldn't suffice; would be no less than criminal. So instead he shook his head. "I can't say, I just do."

After a moment, he stopped dusting. "What about you, Matsuoka-san. Why do you keep coming back here?" This was said with pure curiosity, no malice, and Rin pursed his lips, thinking harder than Nitori had ever seen him do before.

"…It's always easier to say goodbye when you know it's just a prelude to hello." He grinned, and Nitori was amused so he grinned, and Nitori said, "The Last Little Blue Envelope, by Marueen Johnson." He dropped the feather duster on the shelf. "You visited the library?" And Rin gestured to affirm it.

Their conversation drifted from there, but they both knew it was just Rin's way of saying, "I can't say. I just do."

*****

*****

*****

So it continued in that fashion. Rin would visit once in a while, to buy books, or to hang out. When it was the latter, they'd talk about their friends, their family, their school, their lives. Nitori learned Rin loves to swim, and because the olympics is his goal that's all he ever does. But now he finds his free time taken up by reading. At first he was worried, but now he accepts the distraction ("Humans do have a knack for choosing precisely those things that are worst for them. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by J.K. Rowling." Nitori had said, and Rin agreed. But then Rin added, "It's all your fault, Ai,", and the bookstore clerk wondered if Rin really understood). Rin learned Nitori exclusively read from the library. He had no books of his own, lack of funds, lack of space, but he loved them all the same.

And though neither would admit it, they looked forward to seeing each other much more than friends should. But both were convinced that they were, "…deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. Thwonk, by Joan Bauer". So it rose inside them, like water from a faucet freely gushing into a balloon, stretching and thinning the boundaries but never breaking skin.

"I want to buy a book. For…a special friend." Rin swallowed. "You could say…a crush?" They stood between the Romance and Self-Help sections for no particular reason, Nitori wasn't doing anything. And, as always seemed to be the case when Rin was there, the bookstore was empty.

"I know you're not much of a talker Rin-san," Nitori's hands turned cold at the mention of a crush, so he dug his nails into the shelf behind him and tried to act natural. "But I need to know a little more before I can help you."

"Um, reading makes him happy, so I…I just want to…" Rin shifted his weight from one leg to another, and again. "And when he's happy he has these gorgeous, shining blue eyes–"

"Ah, so it's Haru-san." Right off the bat, several books pulled themselves Nitori's memories and fought for attention in his head, each of them fitting for the graceful swimmer in their own ways. He ignored the bite of envy. "I thought you said he wasn't much of a reader."

"No, it's not him, just…." Rin was nervous, it was a sight Nitori was unfamiliar with. The redhead was usually confident, cocky even, and though his red eyes were seemingly looking anywhere but him, the silver-haired boy felt the need to dust off his spotless apron. "Ai, what's your favorite book?"

The books flooded by the millions so it took a while, but when Nitori finally understood the implication of what Rin had said, his head cleared, shocked and empty. Contrary to this, his heart exploded and the beats in his chest went into chaos. For once Nitori was at a loss for words, mind paralyzed, heartbeat in overdrive. But something told him that was the only way to truly understand, so he didn't fight it. Instead he shrugged, smiling gently. "Sometimes," he started slowly. He had to be careful when he spoke with his heart. "Words are not enough." He paused.

And in that pause Rin gathered all the courage he'd been saving those past few weeks and wrapped Nitori in his arms, drawing him close. Nitori did the same, pleased to find Rin's chest a patternless mess of beats as well. All the worlds in the walls stood to witness gave them their blessings, and the deserted bookstore felt serene.

"Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, by Lemony Snicket." But this was added as an afterthought, wasn't said aloud. Because at this time, words would have been too much.

And, Ai decided, _'One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye. The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry'_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! :D If you enjoyed this, I'd love it if you let me know! \\(^w^)/ If you have any comments, I'd be glad to hear them as well! owo
> 
> Other than The Great Gatsby, I have not read any of the books mentioned in this fic ;w;


End file.
